What color is your heart?

You know those days when you're sitting in your car, and just want a change in your music selection? If you're like me, you listen to the same CD over and over and over again... Just because you don't feel like changing it. Well, yesterday I got tired of listening to one of my CDs and decided to pull out my old CD case... It has all the CDs that I listened to when I first got out of high school, but I just never happen to feel the need to pull out and listen to again. I was in a rather nostalgic mood, so I popped in whichever one I grabbed first. (I was driving, and despite popular belief, I sometimes drive safely and don't look down at what I'm doing.) So I just pulled one out of the middle and popped it in.

It ended up being Shaun Groves' Twilight... One of my favorites from my time in Master's Commission in 2004/2005. It's a pretty awesome CD, with some great thought-provoking songs. I listened through once on the drive, then the CD started over again. And part of one of the songs stood out to me. It was the title song, Twilight, but it wasn't the chorus that stood out like in a typical song. It was a simple bridge towards the end:

Oh Lord, paint my heart a solid hue
The shade of you
Oh Lord, break this dreadful in between
Inside of me
Oh let it be, morning

That little bit of the song got me thinking... What does my heart look like? Is it a joyful yellow shade, or a bleak gray? What in the world is the "shade" of God anyway? And how do I know if my heart is painted like him, or if it is even a solid color?

You see, I switch emotions like crazy... One moment I am happy; the next I'm so ticked off that I have to lock myself in a room. (Ok, maybe not that extreme, but you get the picture!) So I wonder, if my heart is a solid hue, what does it look like? I'm sure that it's not one of the grade school, perfect pink Valentine hearts that we imagine. So what are the colors it could be?

Could our hearts be a deep green? A shade of jealousy. One that always feel underprivileged and always wants what others have. Is this a shade God would want us to have? Of course not: "Resentment kills a fool, and envy slays the simple." ~Job 5:2

Or how about an ugly brown color? A color that can represent pride. A prideful heart cannot fully love God. It is too focused on loving (or even hating) self, which pushes the love of God even further away. This is definately not the shade God wants for us: "When pride comes, then comes disgrace..." ~Prov 11:2

What about a dark blue? Depression... Something that we allow ourselves to feel too often. We allow pain to consume us until the point that we completely forget how to get out of it, and don't even see God. This is obviously the wrong shade: "All his days his work is pain and grief; even at night his mind does not rest. This too is meaningless." ~Ecc 2:23

Okay... What about yellow? A joyful shade. A feeling of happiness, fulfillment, and lots of smiles. God loves distributing joy: "The precepts of the Lord are right, giving joy to the heart. The commands of the Lord are radiant, giving light to the eyes." ~Prov 19:8

Or how about a beautiful, still shade of light blue? Peace... Something we don't allow ourselves to feel very often. But when we do feel peace, it is amazing. We just have to be still... Calm ourselves: "Submit to God and be at peace with him; in this way prosperity will come to you." ~Job 22:21

Can they be a deep shade of red? The universal color of love. The most important commandment according to God. Yet, at some times, the hardest feeling to hold onto to. If we could love at all times, our hearts would be beautiful: "Love the Lord your God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your mind and with all your strength. The second is this: 'Love your neighbor as yourself.' There is no commandment greater than these." ~Mark 12:30,31

So, what color is your heart? It changes constantly... So I don't think the most important thing is realizing what color it is, but that it is allowing God to make it a solid hue. Consistancy is one thing that we lack the most in this life. One moment we love God, and desire to be wholly his. The next moment we are complaining to him about how unfair our life is. So our hearts are constantly a rainbow of colors, though not all of them are beautiful shades. How can we strive toward a solid-colored heart? By being consistant in our relationship with God.

"Through Jesus, therefore, let us continually offer to God a sacrifice of praise—the fruit of lips that confess his name." ~Heb 13:15

We must be in a constant attitude of praise toward God... It is the only way to even get close to a solid shade of God. Our hearts are the hardest things to control, because so many times we feel pulled in different directions. We have such a hard time deciding whether it is God's heart or ours that is telling us what to do. As simple as it sounds, the best way to distinguish one from the other is just to pray. We have to pray for God to break this dreadful in between inside of us.