I'm having one of those days... One of the days where you feel like you woke up with your head on sideways. Everything is so out of whack. The baby won't sleep, so she's screaming at me instead... I'm hungry, but can't figure out what to eat... I can't find my favorite shirt, so I have to wear something else. I can't stand these days.
So what do I do? I spend my day searching... Searching for a toy Audrey will want to play with... Searching for something to eat... Searching for my favorite shirt... And then I realize what the problem is.
Not once today have I even bothered searching for God. It's a daily thing, ya know? We'll never find him completely while we're on the Earth, but we still must search. Some days He feels so far away. Like Donald Miller put it in Blue Like Jazz, "If God was on dirt road walking toward me, He was on the other side of a hill, and I hadn't begun to look for Him anyway."
We don't expect to find our car keys by sitting on the couch. So why in the world am I expecting to find God that way? I listen to music that reminds me of His glory, I read books that demonstrate His mercy... But not once today have I talked to Him about where He is in my life. We complain about how God just isn't showing up in certain areas of our life, when we should be complaining about ourselves. About how we always have something more important to do than pray, or read our Bibles. Even if it is talking to Him about something small like, "God, thank you so much for allowing me to have shoes to protect my feet," when we get ready in the morning, at least we are talking to him.
We always feel like we haven't found our place in our group of friends, our church, or this world. We just need to find our place with God and it will start to fall together. No, we aren't going to figure everything out. Not a chance! But we can at least be on the right "side of the hill" looking for Him and trying to find our path. Next time I feel like everything is going wrong in my day, I'm going to be sure to look to Him for my joy in the day. I'll leave you with the words to a song by one of my favorite artists, Nichole Nordeman:
Real to Me by Nicole Nordeman
(http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=uObOnYZ-7E0)
Every time I try to find you
Every road comes back around
Just another hoop to jump through
Another mile of covered ground
I am weary of the answers
More theory and cliché
They raise the letter of the law like a banner
'Til you're small and far away
All the questions in my head
Are from my heart instead
Be real to me now
That's all I'm asking
Be real to me now
Every scribe and every scholar
No winners in this debate
Everybody seems to stand up taller
When you're easy to explain
I don't need to know what I don't know
Just got to let it go
Be real to me now
That's all I'm asking
Be real somehow
More than anything
More than anything
So lay down the sword
And put away the doctrine
Love a little more, love a little more
'Cause everybody's broken
Friday, July 31, 2009
Monday, July 27, 2009
What color is your heart?
You know those days when you're sitting in your car, and just want a change in your music selection? If you're like me, you listen to the same CD over and over and over again... Just because you don't feel like changing it. Well, yesterday I got tired of listening to one of my CDs and decided to pull out my old CD case... It has all the CDs that I listened to when I first got out of high school, but I just never happen to feel the need to pull out and listen to again. I was in a rather nostalgic mood, so I popped in whichever one I grabbed first. (I was driving, and despite popular belief, I sometimes drive safely and don't look down at what I'm doing.) So I just pulled one out of the middle and popped it in.
It ended up being Shaun Groves' Twilight... One of my favorites from my time in Master's Commission in 2004/2005. It's a pretty awesome CD, with some great thought-provoking songs. I listened through once on the drive, then the CD started over again. And part of one of the songs stood out to me. It was the title song, Twilight, but it wasn't the chorus that stood out like in a typical song. It was a simple bridge towards the end:
Oh Lord, paint my heart a solid hue
The shade of you
Oh Lord, break this dreadful in between
Inside of me
Oh let it be, morning
That little bit of the song got me thinking... What does my heart look like? Is it a joyful yellow shade, or a bleak gray? What in the world is the "shade" of God anyway? And how do I know if my heart is painted like him, or if it is even a solid color?
You see, I switch emotions like crazy... One moment I am happy; the next I'm so ticked off that I have to lock myself in a room. (Ok, maybe not that extreme, but you get the picture!) So I wonder, if my heart is a solid hue, what does it look like? I'm sure that it's not one of the grade school, perfect pink Valentine hearts that we imagine. So what are the colors it could be?
Could our hearts be a deep green? A shade of jealousy. One that always feel underprivileged and always wants what others have. Is this a shade God would want us to have? Of course not: "Resentment kills a fool, and envy slays the simple." ~Job 5:2
Or how about an ugly brown color? A color that can represent pride. A prideful heart cannot fully love God. It is too focused on loving (or even hating) self, which pushes the love of God even further away. This is definately not the shade God wants for us: "When pride comes, then comes disgrace..." ~Prov 11:2
What about a dark blue? Depression... Something that we allow ourselves to feel too often. We allow pain to consume us until the point that we completely forget how to get out of it, and don't even see God. This is obviously the wrong shade: "All his days his work is pain and grief; even at night his mind does not rest. This too is meaningless." ~Ecc 2:23
Okay... What about yellow? A joyful shade. A feeling of happiness, fulfillment, and lots of smiles. God loves distributing joy: "The precepts of the Lord are right, giving joy to the heart. The commands of the Lord are radiant, giving light to the eyes." ~Prov 19:8
Or how about a beautiful, still shade of light blue? Peace... Something we don't allow ourselves to feel very often. But when we do feel peace, it is amazing. We just have to be still... Calm ourselves: "Submit to God and be at peace with him; in this way prosperity will come to you." ~Job 22:21
Can they be a deep shade of red? The universal color of love. The most important commandment according to God. Yet, at some times, the hardest feeling to hold onto to. If we could love at all times, our hearts would be beautiful: "Love the Lord your God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your mind and with all your strength. The second is this: 'Love your neighbor as yourself.' There is no commandment greater than these." ~Mark 12:30,31
So, what color is your heart? It changes constantly... So I don't think the most important thing is realizing what color it is, but that it is allowing God to make it a solid hue. Consistancy is one thing that we lack the most in this life. One moment we love God, and desire to be wholly his. The next moment we are complaining to him about how unfair our life is. So our hearts are constantly a rainbow of colors, though not all of them are beautiful shades. How can we strive toward a solid-colored heart? By being consistant in our relationship with God.
"Through Jesus, therefore, let us continually offer to God a sacrifice of praise—the fruit of lips that confess his name." ~Heb 13:15
We must be in a constant attitude of praise toward God... It is the only way to even get close to a solid shade of God. Our hearts are the hardest things to control, because so many times we feel pulled in different directions. We have such a hard time deciding whether it is God's heart or ours that is telling us what to do. As simple as it sounds, the best way to distinguish one from the other is just to pray. We have to pray for God to break this dreadful in between inside of us.
It ended up being Shaun Groves' Twilight... One of my favorites from my time in Master's Commission in 2004/2005. It's a pretty awesome CD, with some great thought-provoking songs. I listened through once on the drive, then the CD started over again. And part of one of the songs stood out to me. It was the title song, Twilight, but it wasn't the chorus that stood out like in a typical song. It was a simple bridge towards the end:
Oh Lord, paint my heart a solid hue
The shade of you
Oh Lord, break this dreadful in between
Inside of me
Oh let it be, morning
That little bit of the song got me thinking... What does my heart look like? Is it a joyful yellow shade, or a bleak gray? What in the world is the "shade" of God anyway? And how do I know if my heart is painted like him, or if it is even a solid color?
You see, I switch emotions like crazy... One moment I am happy; the next I'm so ticked off that I have to lock myself in a room. (Ok, maybe not that extreme, but you get the picture!) So I wonder, if my heart is a solid hue, what does it look like? I'm sure that it's not one of the grade school, perfect pink Valentine hearts that we imagine. So what are the colors it could be?
Could our hearts be a deep green? A shade of jealousy. One that always feel underprivileged and always wants what others have. Is this a shade God would want us to have? Of course not: "Resentment kills a fool, and envy slays the simple." ~Job 5:2
Or how about an ugly brown color? A color that can represent pride. A prideful heart cannot fully love God. It is too focused on loving (or even hating) self, which pushes the love of God even further away. This is definately not the shade God wants for us: "When pride comes, then comes disgrace..." ~Prov 11:2
What about a dark blue? Depression... Something that we allow ourselves to feel too often. We allow pain to consume us until the point that we completely forget how to get out of it, and don't even see God. This is obviously the wrong shade: "All his days his work is pain and grief; even at night his mind does not rest. This too is meaningless." ~Ecc 2:23
Okay... What about yellow? A joyful shade. A feeling of happiness, fulfillment, and lots of smiles. God loves distributing joy: "The precepts of the Lord are right, giving joy to the heart. The commands of the Lord are radiant, giving light to the eyes." ~Prov 19:8
Or how about a beautiful, still shade of light blue? Peace... Something we don't allow ourselves to feel very often. But when we do feel peace, it is amazing. We just have to be still... Calm ourselves: "Submit to God and be at peace with him; in this way prosperity will come to you." ~Job 22:21
Can they be a deep shade of red? The universal color of love. The most important commandment according to God. Yet, at some times, the hardest feeling to hold onto to. If we could love at all times, our hearts would be beautiful: "Love the Lord your God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your mind and with all your strength. The second is this: 'Love your neighbor as yourself.' There is no commandment greater than these." ~Mark 12:30,31
So, what color is your heart? It changes constantly... So I don't think the most important thing is realizing what color it is, but that it is allowing God to make it a solid hue. Consistancy is one thing that we lack the most in this life. One moment we love God, and desire to be wholly his. The next moment we are complaining to him about how unfair our life is. So our hearts are constantly a rainbow of colors, though not all of them are beautiful shades. How can we strive toward a solid-colored heart? By being consistant in our relationship with God.
"Through Jesus, therefore, let us continually offer to God a sacrifice of praise—the fruit of lips that confess his name." ~Heb 13:15
We must be in a constant attitude of praise toward God... It is the only way to even get close to a solid shade of God. Our hearts are the hardest things to control, because so many times we feel pulled in different directions. We have such a hard time deciding whether it is God's heart or ours that is telling us what to do. As simple as it sounds, the best way to distinguish one from the other is just to pray. We have to pray for God to break this dreadful in between inside of us.
Thursday, July 23, 2009
Oh, the Pressure!!!
Every day is different, yet so much the same. How, you may ask... Well, that is the thought I have been pondering on all day today. Let me explain...
I have been fighting a sinus infection for the past three days. This isn't an unusual occurance for me, as I get one about once a month. It's like my body just says, "Hey... It's been long enough. Let's throw another one at her!" So, about once a month, I spend three to five days moping on the couch, feeling miserable, napping all day. And that is exactly what I have done this time.
But, that changed today. I read something that changed my outlook on it all, and it, of course, came out of my favorite book of the Bible:
"Therefore we do not lose heart. Though outwardly we are wasting away, yet inwardly we are being renewed day by day." ~2 Corinthians 4:16
I know what you're thinking... Just because I'm having sinus problems doesn't mean I'm "wasting away." But sometimes, even without the physical symptoms, we feel like we are. We face so many pressures in our lives... Career pressure, family pressure, financial pressure, even sinus pressure. And we always want them all to just go away. But how much energy are we willing to put into dealing with these pressures?
If we have to find a job, do we sit on the couch and wait for the right one all day? No... If we are trying to make more money, do we sit around and watch television? I wish... If we are having sinus problems, do we lay in bed and wait for them to go away? No... We take medicine and don't let it get us down!
So why should our relationship with God be any different? We can't just sit around and hope that our relationship will get stronger... We have to work towards a great relationship! We can't do the same thing we do everyday and think that it's enough. We can't expect all the daily renewal we're receiving to take affect without us actually trying to put it into practice.
So, yeah, everyday has within itself different pressures and lessons for us to learn, but every day will end up the same as the last unless we do something to change it. The Message translation begins 2 Corinthians 4:16 like this: "So we're not giving up. How could we!" So... How could we?!?! Do you want to feel the renewal that's taking place daily in your life? Then do it!!!
I have been fighting a sinus infection for the past three days. This isn't an unusual occurance for me, as I get one about once a month. It's like my body just says, "Hey... It's been long enough. Let's throw another one at her!" So, about once a month, I spend three to five days moping on the couch, feeling miserable, napping all day. And that is exactly what I have done this time.
But, that changed today. I read something that changed my outlook on it all, and it, of course, came out of my favorite book of the Bible:
"Therefore we do not lose heart. Though outwardly we are wasting away, yet inwardly we are being renewed day by day." ~2 Corinthians 4:16
I know what you're thinking... Just because I'm having sinus problems doesn't mean I'm "wasting away." But sometimes, even without the physical symptoms, we feel like we are. We face so many pressures in our lives... Career pressure, family pressure, financial pressure, even sinus pressure. And we always want them all to just go away. But how much energy are we willing to put into dealing with these pressures?
If we have to find a job, do we sit on the couch and wait for the right one all day? No... If we are trying to make more money, do we sit around and watch television? I wish... If we are having sinus problems, do we lay in bed and wait for them to go away? No... We take medicine and don't let it get us down!
So why should our relationship with God be any different? We can't just sit around and hope that our relationship will get stronger... We have to work towards a great relationship! We can't do the same thing we do everyday and think that it's enough. We can't expect all the daily renewal we're receiving to take affect without us actually trying to put it into practice.
So, yeah, everyday has within itself different pressures and lessons for us to learn, but every day will end up the same as the last unless we do something to change it. The Message translation begins 2 Corinthians 4:16 like this: "So we're not giving up. How could we!" So... How could we?!?! Do you want to feel the renewal that's taking place daily in your life? Then do it!!!
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